Follow the Leader
I recently attended a retreat where the curriculum was all about leadership. The following week I started a Bible study on Acts, and let me tell you… that thing is full of examples of good, strong leadership. It’s really become a recurring theme in my life even before I realized it.
Since then, I’ve been much more intentional about teaching my kids what effective leadership looks like. We’re talking about different traits every day and asking questions about how we can put them into practice.
The most important thing is that we are talking about it every day. Not once a week. Not once a month. But every day. Because if I really want them to learn a principle, I have to reiterate it daily. It’s the same idea we use in school: learning through daily practice and repetition.
So what are they learning?
They’re learning that good leaders lead by example.
People are watching you. They’re watching your behavior. They’re listening to your words. They’re gauging your reactions. No one is inspired to change simply because someone told them to. But people are inspired every day to follow the example of someone that exhibits the traits they wish they had.
We’re always hearing that we need to mentor and bring up the next generation. That is absolutely true. But there are people of all ages who need mentoring. It doesn’t matter how old you are. It only matters that you can be an example of what to do. Our kids deserve the chance to be an example to other generations.
They’re learning how to communicate.
When I asked my kids to name some traits of good leaders the first response was open listening. I couldn’t agree more! A lot of times the emphasis is put more on how you speak than how you listen. But can you really even know the best way to speak to someone if you don’t know what their needs and concerns are? And the way they speak will determine how they hear and process what you say.
Another reason listening is so important is that it makes thing NOT about you. When you’re actively engaged and listening to someone it is all about them in that moment and they know it. There is no way to be an effective leader without other people knowing that you have sincere respect for them as people and as contributors to a larger cause.
They’re learning that everything is a choice.
Mood is a choice. Reactions are a choice. Your direction is a choice. Circumstances are what happens to you, but they don’t determine your choices. You can make good choices in the midst of the worst circumstances.
Will you let your circumstances rule you? Or will you take your thoughts captive and choose to fill your mind, heart and life with goodness? Kids tend to be controlled by emotion, so be really intentional about teaching them the power of choice.
They’re learning to take responsibility.
Sometimes a plan goes off the rails. It may be no one’s fault. But I’m teaching my kids to take responsibility for what IS their fault. Someday our kids will make it into the workforce and everything will become a group effort. Who wants to work with a cry baby that points their finger at someone else when they dropped the ball?
Are these harsh words? Yes. Are they true? Absolutely! Someone at my husband’s job didn’t clean up his work station and his response was to blame another person because “they should have checked to make sure it was done.” You can’t see how hard I’m eye rolling at this but seriously?
NO! It isn’t someone else’s fault because they didn’t check to make sure he did his actual job. This is what things are coming to folks. Let’s please teach our kids when and how to take responsibility for their actions and how to accept the consequences and make better choices next time.
They’re learning to ask for help.
Asking for help is not a weakness. It takes courage to ask for help and let other people into something you’d like to have complete control over. The truth is, when we’re overwhelmed there is no way we can give our best to anything. And everything suffers. Sometimes we just need help. Ask for it.
They’re learning to work well with others.
Being a leader means being with other people. Otherwise, who would you lead? So what’s the difference in good and bad leadership? Good leaders have learned to work WELL with others. They know they are part of a team and show every member mutual respect.
When each person knows their opinions and ideas are respected, and that they’re important to the team, they work hard to secure success. Respect goes a long way in building a strong team.
They’re learning to encourage others.
A good leader will call out good leadership qualities in other team members. They realize the importance of having other people who could step into a leadership role at a moment’s notice. They realize that what makes good leaders also makes good people. These leaders aren’t doing what they do for recognition or accolades, but because they want to do the best job possible and they have the best in mind for the people around them.
When you’re able to see the main goal clearly, you aren’t concerned about the spotlight. You’re actually excited to help boost others into a spotlight. Great leaders are humble and selfless.
Do these lessons seem too hard for kids?
I promise they’re not. You can teach these principles to any child. They can be taught simply or in greater detail depending on age and ability. But every child has the ability to practice these ideals and the potential to become an amazing leader, even at a young age.
Give your child the chance to be a leader. Help them identify character traits of good leadership. Help them call out the leader in others. They will surprise you with their ability.
Have a blessed day friends!
1 Timothy 4:12